“Fuck Fitted Sheets” is the universal struggle anthem nobody asked for but everybody needed. It’s the story of that weekly showdown we ALL lose: trying to fold a fitted sheet and keep our sanity intact.
The song follows the point-of-view of someone who’s just trying to get their life together, but every time laundry day arrives, the fitted sheet becomes the final boss. No matter how many corners you match or how many times you try to “do it like the TikTok cleaning lady,” that elastic demon still twists itself into a wrinkled blob of rage.
Half comedy, half therapy session, the track turns the frustration into a groovy, upbeat release. It’s the soundtrack of every apartment, every house, every laundromat where someone is cussing at fabric and questioning their entire life.
At its core, it’s a fun, feel-good vent song:
A celebration of knowing you’re not alone, you’re not crazy, and yes fitted sheets are actually out to get us.
Packed with bounce, humor, and pure “I’m done with this shit” energy, “Fuck Fitted Sheets” transforms an everyday annoyance into a full-blown vibe.
If life gives you chaos?
Fold it later.
Dance first.
Share this track:
Lyrics
(Intro)
Yo, we’ve all been there trapped in elastic hell,
Cursin’ at the corners like some demon spell.
But not today today we fight with a plan,
Martha’s ghost watchin’, like “Fold it, man!”
(Verse 1)
Sheet inside out, short edge in your view,
Grab two corners tight yeah, you know what to do.
Flip one inside the other, keep it snug, no slack,
Now they nested up clean no fightin’ back.
Tuck that edge in, make it behave,
No more wild corners misbehavin’ in your cave.
(Chorus)
Fuck fitted sheets! (Fuck ’em all!)
Elastic beasts, we make ’em fall!
No twistin’, no snakin’, no losin’ control,
We fold ’em clean, reclaim the soul!
Fuck fitted sheets! (Say it loud!)
From laundry rooms to the linen crowd—
We conquer chaos, we tame that foe,
Folded neat, in the drawer they go!
(Verse 2)
Right hand to the left, make that corner flip,
Smooth and slick yeah, that’s the tip.
Third one hangin’? Bring it in for the ride,
Nest it clean, no lumps to hide.
Last corner calls, bring it home with pride,
Lay it flat and breathe that’s the guide.
Smooth them edges, make it straight and fair,
No more wrinkles, you almost there.
(Chorus)
Fuck fitted sheets! (Fuck ’em all!)
Elastic demons, hear the call!
We bend, we stretch, we take command,
No wrinkled mess in this laundry land!
Fuck fitted sheets! (Shout it proud!)
Fold it up tight, stand with the crowd,
We beat the beast, let the world know,
Folded neat in the drawer you go!
(Verse 3)
Tuck those edges, hide that curve,
Fold it in half show some nerve.
Keep halvin’ it down, till it’s crisp, real clean,
Rectangle glory, laundry dream.
Pillowcases next? Yeah, maybe someday,
But this sheet’s conquered we won today.
(Outro)
So next time it fights ya, remember this rhyme,
Fold like a champ, every single time.
Fuck fitted sheets? Nah we own ’em now.
Peace out.
